To ogle or not to ogle

So I was playing on this TF2 server last night, one that I frequent quite often. It’s one of those servers that has an anti-swearing, anti-racism, anti-pornographic spray policy. It’s also got admins on pretty much constantly during prime time.

In spite of all this, some rebellious young horndog threw up a provocative spray of a woman splayed on a kitchen countertop, her goodies covered with naught but whipped cream. I didn’t look too closely; I was too disgusted to give it pause.

Or was I?

See, I have this slight problem. Not only am I a girl gamer, I’m kinda sorta maybe a little attracted to the womens myself. Yeah, sounds great, whoopty-shit. It ain’t all that. The scrutiny accompanying a bi-curious girl on the Internet, let alone one that plays games dominated by men, can be considerable. It gets more complicated when you factor in other gaming girls, both how they’re viewed by the community and how they view me.

No, of course I couldn’t be titillated; I had a duty to be full of feminist indignation. I do believe it was a case of the bigger picture, of not appearing soft on smut when it goes against the rules, and to stand up for my fellow gaming goddesses. But dammit, sometimes it’d be nice if I could just say, “Hey, look at the melons on that tomato.”


Batter up!

Super, super psyched about the scout update for TF2. This is the first one I'm looking forward to, since I hardly play any heavy (too friggin' slow), pyro (too many on my team), or medic (though I've played him more often lately).

It's hard to articulate my adoration for the scout. Completely obnoxious and relentlessly in-your-face, I would avoid him at all costs at, say, a party or a tailgating opportunity. His grating personality rubs me the wrong way in a real-life context. However, allowed to play in his shoes, I love tearing through a map, scattergun at the ready, tossing insults every which way. It's as if I take out the frustration of having to deal with guys like him...by becoming him. I'm sure Freud would have a lot to say about that, if he weren't dead. I also enjoy mimicking his accent. There's just something about stereotypical Boston or New Yawk accents I savor, at least until my ears start bleeding.

Valve has released some details but not all.. can't wait to see what else they've cooked up.


When you care enough to stab the very best

It's late, and I'm tired, and my cat is waiting expectantly for me to feed her, and Valentine's Day is my least favorite holiday (well, maybe ahead of Groundhog Day), but this is too sweet to pass up:

Forbidden Love?

It's so true. I've loved playing with/against my paramours in the past. It adds a whole new level to the experience. Thanks, Patrick!


Just what in the hell have I been doing the past few days?

Not that anyone asked, but:

- Hotly anticipating Velvet Assassin even though I know it will most likely be a steaming pile of dog doo. The best concepts for games always seem to have the worst execution, with a few exceptions.
- Returning to Baroque and FFVI, neither of which I have finished. Both confuse the hell out of me, but are compelling in their own ways. Baroque is one of those games where I want to cheat with a walkthrough if only to figure out WTF is going on. Even with the translation barrier, whoever wrote the plot was seriously high on something. I've reached a point in FFVI (before opening the Sealed Cave) where the fights are too easy, but now I've forgotten what all my characters do, since I haven't played it in at least a year.
- Not playing drums in Rock Band. ;_; Due to a strained inner thigh muscle, it's probably not a good idea to try any Tommy Lee-style feats at the moment. It's just as well. "Sick Sick Sick" will still be there when I heal up...mocking me.


Planning ahead

It's been five months since PAX, otherwise known as the Penny Arcade Expo. Seems like a lot, but in many ways I feel like it happened yesterday. Since my math is incorruptible, on the Georgian calendar, that means it's seven months until PAX 09, or as I like to call it, the Christmas in September (I think this is the first year it will take place entirely in September). Again, that might seem a long ways off. But you know what? It's not. It sneaks you, hardcore. And brother, I'm getting excited all over again.

I debated whether or not to go at all, since there will be a PAX in Boston in March of 2010. I presume that one will be closer and cheaper; Seattle's a fuckin' haul. But there are two things changing my mind. One is the Cross-Country Super Trip, a meetup of gamer geeks and PA forum readers coming from points east. I pondered doing it last year, but it required too much time off from work. This year I'm saying to hell with it, which ties directly into reason two...

It's my 30th birthday this year, right around the time of PAX. If I'm gonna celebrate, as a geek, I may as well do it up in the right fashion. That means a pre-PAX dinner, possible hotel room parties, very possible drunkenness but not a requirement (the only drink I had last year was one martini, after the whole thing was over)...and if I practice every single day, maybe even a Rush song on Rock Band 2. On Expert.

Yeah, I'm not buying that one either.

But I do have another plan. I've been toying with the idea of trying for Omeganautical status. I don't play a large variety of games, but damn if I got in, my credit card would start screaming for all the games I'd rent/buy/whatever. My worst fear is that you have to include some huge game achievement from your past, like getting all the way through Super Metroid without stopping or someshit. That's when I go for the laugh, I guess. And to play in front of all those people, 60,000 strong at this point... dear God, would it be something.

Dammit, now I'm all hyped up.

Diablo III: Now with Deadly Rainbow Unicorn Farts!

Even though I've never played Diablo (yeah, yeah, I know), there's no denying the pure awesomeness of this screenshot:

No way that'll make it in the game, but not bad for a rebuttal to rabid fanboys... well-played, Blizzard, well-played.


A Return to "Normalcy"

After a couple years of downsizing, perennial game convention E3 is going all-out again. This translates into bigger companies, glitzier displays, relaxed attendance rules, and...the return of booth babes.

I don't have a lot of experience with booth babes. What I know personally is limited to the one and only con I've been to, PAX 08. I did notice some eye candy present at a few booths, which seemed to run counter to the whole PAX vibe: focusing on the games themselves. A game should be able to stand on its own without having to rely on cheap boobery to draw in fans, no? I don't so much mind the women (it's their job, after all, demeaning as it is) but the companies undermining the intrinsic value of their product. I can see it now, a story as old as time:

Exec A: I hate to say it, but our game's just not that good.
Exec B: So what? Throw some tits at the fanboys, they'll eat it up.
Exec A: Done and done!

Now E3's running with that thought process once again (and Kotaku's audience is eating it up, btw). Say hello to the lowest common denominator. It's an insult to our collective intelligence. It's the con equivalent of a beer commercial. It reinforces the stereotype that a scantily-clad jiggling advertisement is the closest a geek can get to a woman. Listen, I don't deny that sex sells, but I'd like to think serious gamer guys are better than this. To all those who welcome the booth babes back...you're only doing yourselves a disservice.

Eh, what's the point? In order to be heard, I'd probably have to pull a Large Marge...

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